NSW Premier unaware drug fuelled house parties have replaced nightlife

B-Side is our latest news section breaking the stories you won’t read about anywhere else. Hard hitting news f the back a truck that we published without fact checking.

NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has shocked the public today after sharing her belief that Sydney’s youth have now happily accepted the ‘lockout law lifestyle’.

Ms Berejiklian was questioned during a press conference today, where B-Side Editor Micky ‘Muscles’ McClure brought up the growing numbers drug fuelled house parties in the suburbs. Much to everyone’s surprise, Ms Berejiklian responded “What house parties?”

“No, no. There is absolutely no chance that is happening. I know my kids are at home playing Fortnite a Friday evening, now” she explained. “Trust me, I was young once, and from my experience these “drug fuelled” house parties are a myth”.

However, B-side Media has reached out to several friend groups 20-25-year-olds who are actively hosting weekly, home-based shin-digs and they confirmed with us that they are indeed “fucking awesome”.

Tommy Baker, a 22-year-old chippy from Coogee, told us he and his friends rarely leave the suburbs a weekend now. “What’s the point going out to a dead nightclub when we can sit around my rumpus room with a few bags until sunrise? Plus Jack’s a decent DJ and brings his gear round every weekend. We’re cheering.”

Cheering, indeed, and we at B-Side Media cannot help but laugh at the irony in it all. We will be sure to report on any further findings on this matter.